Feb 7, 2003

THE PUNCHLINE IS AT THE END

Entry No. 3

Two months have passed since Emma left for Japan. Bert received neither a letter nor a call. He would have been worried sick if not for a friend who told him that Emma’s doing fine. The friend told him that she received a letter from Emma. Wondering why he did not receive one, he just tried to convince himself that maybe she’s still adjusting to her new work. Maybe she’s busy. These are the thoughts that crossed his mind. As hard as he might want to believe, he knew that he was lying to himself.

Bert’s performance has been deteriorating along with his hope that he would personally hear from Emma. One day, his boss warned him, again, to “clean up his act.” Fewer customers laughed at his jokes and fewer attended his shows. At times, he would pause in the middle of the performance as if he forgot his next line. Then one night, try as he did to become funny, he was booed by the crowd; something that he had experienced for the very first time.

From the back of the stage and into the dressing room, he could hear his boss shouting curses at him.

“What the hell is fucking wrong with you!” the stage manager cursed.

Somehow, he couldn’t care less. He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket.

“Just one more performance for you,” the stage manager was leaning on the mirror of his dressing room. “You know how things are.
Just one more performance. Next Wednesday, you better be funny or you’ll be losing your job.”

“What’s the catch?” he asked, acting indifferent about the whole matter.

“The catch is, you must make everyone, including me, laugh at your jokes. I can’t let you work here unless you do your job. And that’s final,” his boss slammed the door behind him. Bert sat inside the dressing room for almost three hours before he came out of the club.
He felt numb, confused - but he had a plan.

Instead of practicing for his performance on Wednesday, he went to a friend who makes balloons. There, he revealed what he wanted to happen. At first, his friend hesitated on the favor he is asking. Bert explained that the plan would save his job. After a lot of convincing and reasoning, his friend agreed with a condition that he would not be responsible for anything.

What was on Bert’s mind then? He felt that fate is pushing him to his limits. He felt that destiny is playing a very cruel joke on him. Down on his luck, the departure of Emma pushed buttons inside him that even he did not know existed. As he felt the heat rising from his arm, he formed a fist. He threw a punch in the air. He was angry.

Bert knew that he must do something otherwise he’d go crazy. The balloons were just part of his plan. His plan was to avenge his fate. His plan was to explode his anger amidst all the laughter.

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