Feb 13, 2003

TONIO AND THE BLUE LIGHT

Entry No. 1

Tonio would do anything to get himself out of poverty. In the place where he grew-up, orphanages are almost non-existent. In fact, the reason why he grew-up in one was because he admitted himself there. When his father died because of tuberculosis, he and his mother had to live with their relatives. Shortly thereafter, her mother also died on what appears to be deep remorse. His aunt was reluctant to take him having six children of her own. So, it was agreed upon that he would be passed year to year to the different relatives of his mother. As far as he could remember, it felt like hell.

One of her aunts would make her work at a bakery even though he was barely seven years old. He would wake-up even before the sun sets in. He could not attend school. He was often transferred from place to place; his relatives passing him like a ball unaware of the deep scars they have embedded within him.

One of his relatives would shout curses at him for making the slightest mistake. They would often say that it is better to keep a pig than someone like him. Then there was an uncle who would make him beg for alms. The earnings he would make would be used to buy alcoholic drinks instead of the things he badly needed. At the young age he was in, he knew that something was wrong. With nothing to lose, he decided to run away.

The first few months was a nightmare for as long as he can remember. Things have finally changed when he saw an orphanage. He asked the nuns to take him in and he explained why. With the drab clothes he had, it was not hard to believe him. They accepted him on the condition that he would help take care of the much smaller kids. And so he stayed. Frankly, it was not that different from his life with his relatives. The only difference is that on the orphanage, he learned how to read and write, as well as the other basic things.

He worked hard to earn his keep though deep inside Tonio's little heart, there was nothing more than his wish to become rich. He would often see wealthy people donate something for the orphanage. He would stare in awe on how these people dress well, how civilized they act, and how they seem to have so much that they can still give to others large amounts of money. He envied them. Even in his prayers, he would ask God for him to become rich.

But Tonio also wanted more. He wanted to become rich more than anyone else, because he saw that money was the only way he could be free.

Simbang Gabi as a tradition