TONIO AND THE BLUE LIGHT

Entry No. 4

"Right on schedule," he thought. This is the time when his past-self would come scrambling in the office to start his chores. He remembered clearly the lack of sleep he had during those days. After selling newspapers, he would then become a janitor.

"Stupid boy," he thought. "Doesn't he know that all the things he worked so hard for would be gone in an instant?"

"What took him nearly ten years to save would be gone in a matter of seconds," he sighed.

While waiting for his past-self, Tonio begun to imagine the endless possibilities and opportunities that he can offer himself on that instant. Clutching the check inside the suit, he also checked the envelope he brought from the future. It took him a hard time to get what's inside that packet. He had to enter the city library, checking out old archives of newspapers.

Standing outside the door of the building, he couldn't help but reminisce on the moments of his life. Up to now, he still remembers Sonia. He can still recall her small lips, soft eyelashes, and eyes that spoke. Everything about her was beautiful. For the first time in years, he again felt the pain brought about by a love that never transpired.

Tonio managed not to say hi to the guard whom was his friend in the past. "He was such a nice man," he thought.

The guard was about twenty years older then him then. But looking at him right now, it felt funny seeing that he is himself is older than the guard. A few moments later, he saw himself walk in. Would the Tonio of the past recognize him, he thought. Maybe not. His right leg was limping and he had grown accustomed to wearing a beard. The white on his hair was quite evident and the sparkle in his eyes were now gone.

He stared at himself when he was young. He couldn't believe how time changes a man. The energy emanating from his past-self and the eagerness to pursue a dream was what he saw in him. If he did not know what would happen, he might have felt proud.

Tonio watched his young-self enter the building, say hi to the guard, and then run for the stairs. He felt compelled to say to his past-self not to run because someone left a ballpoint at the stairs where he would eventually slip. And the young Tonio did. He now remembered quite clearly that that was where he got his scar on the left side of the cheek.

Yes, he said to himself. This is all true. This is not just a dream. Dr. Gonzalo's time machine works. He was in the past. He could see himself. He could touch his youngTonio if he wanted to. For once in his life, he also felt he had control.

He decided to stroll the city for a few hours. He ate a restaurant he couldn't afford before. Dr. Gonzalo had indeed planned everything. He had stacks of old cash which he would later give to his past-self as well as with the check. He went to the mall and actually bought something. He went to most places he failed to see when he was young because he had no money. He felt free.

When it was almost seven o' clock in the evening, Tonio decided to go to the town plaza to see himself sell cigarettes and stuff. He sat near the waiting shed where he knew he would have a better view of his younger-self. A few minutes later, young Tonio arrived.

It's the same routinely things he did. Looking at himself working like a horse and thinking of the latter past of his life, he felt pity for himself. He almost cried if not for the people around him. The pain of the past kept springing-up and the ache he went through crept like a cold wind covering his body. Again, flashes from the past, his childhood, the orphanage, and up to the day he had an accident flooded him. He got up, went to the nearest hotel and felt his tear drop during the rest of the night.

"Tomorrow would be different," he promised.

After a restless night, Tonio decided that it was time to change his past. Today would be the day where he and his past life would finally reach their dreams. It was time to get the comforts out of life. It was also the time to change history.

Putting on the clothes he bought yesterday, he made his way through the same office building he first visited. He had a plan cooked up. He would tell his past-self that he was a long lost relative and that the purpose of his visit was to make up for the cruelty endowed him by his relatives. He would also give him the check worth a million pesos and do more than that. He would also give him the second envelope if chance would permit.

It was not that hard to do. He found himself curios and courteous at the same time. His past-self agreed to meet with him during the morning break. They went to a restaurant and told his past-self to order whatever it was that he wanted. He also showed him the check.

They later went to a bank. The disbelief in his young-self turned into deep gratitude. Tonio told young Tonio that he could do anything with the money. He also told him that he might want to get married and this would solve the issue regarding finance. He advised that he must at least learn some trade and encouraged young Tonio to study. In short, he told him everything he dreamt of when he was young.

The young Tonio, somewhat still bewildered by the events that transpired, offered him to stay. He said he'd take care of him and they could both enjoy the luxuries of life. He said he'd think about it and went back to the hotel.

It was another sleepless night. The offer made was a hard one to resist. After thinking that he'd go back to the same state he left in the future, he was really torn between going back where he'll forever remain poor. By the time the sun was setting, he went to the park to witness the blue light. It was his gate back to his own time.

At the park, he stared at the tree beside him while waiting. Then suddenly, a blue light appeared from nowhere. It was time.

As he was about to enter the portal, Tonio saw a bum not that far away. He was dressed in the same clothes that he had only it's too dirty. The bum looked like him. Suddenly, he was afraid. What if what he was seeing was his future? Would this be the same fate he would have? Maybe it was more than the fear of being left out in the streets, or the thought of forever enduring poverty that he stepped back. Tonio ran to the place where young Tonio lived. He forever missed the chance to go back to his own time.